Not Going to Denver. I Tried/Mean Christians

So, after volunteering, donating and entering all kinds of contests, I'm not going to go to Denver for the convention, or for the speech. Bummer.

To top it off, there is some conservative Christian group that is praying for rain on Barack Obama's speech. I read on the web about a Baptist Church that goes to the funerals of famous people and pickets and tells folks they are going to hell. They said some rotten things about Eizabeth Edwards. They said some rotten things about John Edwards. (Yes, what he did was awful, but these people went over the top condemning him...) They make statements, "God hates__________ (fill in the blank)."

How awful. Most people preach that "God loves us." and while, at times, I find it difficult to believe, I guess I have to believe it, especially when my faith waivers - which is often. For a group to state that "God hates..." and to call itself Christian or God-fearing is, succinctly, just awful. No wonder the world is a mess. I wish God would sit down with those people who say "God hates_______ (fill in the blank)." so God could say, "No! I do not hate them. I do not hate YOU, but you'd better start behaving and live in the love that I have for all that I have created - even YOU."

Maybe they would act better and I wouldn't have to read about them.

Wants and Needs

At this very moment there are three things I desperately want:

1. To be chosen to go to Denver, Colorado to witness Barack Obama give his acceptance speech. I believe that this man has so much to offer - the table is set, and I want to be there for the first course. I have made a couple of donations and I have shared my "story" so I hope I get chosen to meet him backstage and sit in the front row. I really do. This is what I have done to get to Denver for this occasion: I ran for office, and lost. I have done a little bit of volunteer work. Could I have done more? Of course! Will I do more? Yup! I made a couple of donations - nothing substantial, but a lot for the likes of me - and hope to be chosen to go to Denver, CO for the event. I also pray. I can only imagine that God has bigger things on God's mind than my sojourn to Denver, CO. I can only imagine that God might take breaks from working on the bigger things and might take a look at the "smaller" things, such as requests from Erlinda to go to Denver. I have a vivid imagination, God has power, and I make Gratitude Lists. Anything can happen. I am open to the grace. I know I belong there because Barack, while visiting Europe, said, "I am a world citizen!" That's exactly what I have on this blog. I put it there long before he said it. It's a sign - and I know it!!! This is something I want so badly and that I need to do.
   
2. A Nintendo DS Lite. Cobalt Blue. I don't know why I want one so badly, but I do. Maybe I'll use it to learn another language. Maybe it will be just another distraction. I keep saying to myself, "Complete one task, and you will have earned your DS Lite." I complete the task (or not) and continue to resist the purchase. Nothing philosophical about this. Just know that when I finally do break down and buy one, I will have resisted the purchase for over seven months! This I want. Do I need it? Probably not. It would be nice to have.
   
3. To rewrite a story that I wrote about my father and me. I submitted it to the "Lives" pages of the New York Times Magazine, and they didn't respond. I think that I should tweak it a bit, expand some parts, make others less sentimental, and submit it to the "Modern Love" section in the Arts & Leisure section. The by-line would read "Erlinda Brent" and the footer would read, "Erlinda Brent likes to write." or "Erlinda Brent has written two books, I Dreamt I was a Mermaid and I Dreamt I was a Comet - after all, I have written them. Even if they haven't been published, they are books. It wouldn't be a lie. This I want. Do I need it? Well, my Spirit does.
   

I don't want much - but I do want big.